this is pretty awful stuff Beka! I mean that in the nicest way, but it must be emotionally hard on everyone, especially the kitties.

first thing is first....often times, we are able to choose our cats (mostly when they are kittens, or very young). but in reality, they chose us. they are the ones that chose to live with us, and we put up with them! (ha ha) They have us trained really well. If Franky doesnt want to stay, you cant force him to stay.

However, there are things still that you can try to do.

You might try getting the neighbors to bring Franky back to your home in a carrier. That little portable jail cell does things to a cat's psyche, and it might be enough to trigger a behaviroal change in him when he gets back to your new home.

If there was anyone he particularly bonded with while living with you, give him an article of their clothing to sleep on or play with. Those memories will help him feel more secure.

Ive had some experience lately with my old cat, and the kitten cat my housemate brought home. Maybe you could gain some insight from my story.

Apollo is the old cat, Zeike is the kitten. Apollo has special needs and has to have a certain kind of food. Zeike also is on special kitten food. Apollo started eating the kitten food, and instantly developed a skin problem, so we had to segregate the cats at meal time. That led to Apollo developing an "attitude" , much like your Franky. He was always hungry and always fighting with the kitten because he wanted his food. So, to solve that problem, we decided that it was ok for the kitten to eat Apollo's food, so we seperate the food containers in our own bedrooms, but Apollo's door is left open so that both the cats have access to food (or it seems that way, the dish is not always full because Apollo also has a weight problem). Once the kitten was allowed to share Apollo's food, they started getting along a LOT better, and now we call them our little Sumo Wrestlers because they actually get along and play together now, instead of constant hissing and howling.

Maybe there is something in this story you can use to help with Frank and Dizzy. Maybe somehow they just arent bonding, and sharing things might help. Or, conversely, you may have to spearate some things with them, like food; litter box; toys, play time. If Franky can bond back with you Id say try it. Keep him with you for days at a time, and only with you. Lock yourselves in a room for a weekend and watch tv together, play together, invite him to come into the bathroom wtih you (cats love that for some reason). Im sure that with hard work and determination, you will be able to keep your little Franky with you.

Good luck.

Just thought I'd update the situation. We kept Frankie in the house for four days. The first two were really hard. He growled and hissed constantly, 24 hours a day. Then he started to mellow out and his grumbling turned into meows, 24 hours a day. We didn't sleep much.

On day four he managed to squeeze through a window that was only open a crack. He was gone for a few hours then he came back! He came in and spent the night. Since then we've been letting him come and go as he pleases. If he stays gone for more than 12 hours we go find him and bring him in for a while.

On my vets advice I bought a product called Felaway. Since I plugged it in the two cats get along fine. Occasionally Dizzy gets too playful, Franky gives him one good smack-upside-da-head and it's over.

My only lingering concern is that Franky is likcking off all of his fur again. There are no fleas in sight, it's clearly a stress thing. I'm giving him Rescue Remedy and Calms. If he doesn't stop soon I'll take him to the vet.